At Dumb & Dumber House Moving, we treat every move like it's our first. Literally. No experience? No problem! Your priceless heirlooms are in for an adventure.
*You get what you pay for. And you're paying almost nothing. So...
Our ETA ranges from "soon" to "did we forget about you?"
One truck. All your stuff. What could possibly not fit?
Every service comes with our signature "Good Luck" guarantee.
We wrap your items in hope and a single layer of bubble wrap. Fragile sticker sold separately.
Speed is our priority. Accuracy is not. Your couch may arrive before your house keys do.
We lift with our backs, not our knees. OSHA? Never heard of her.
We'll put your furniture back together. Mostly. Extra screws are just... souvenirs.
We'll store your items somewhere. We think. It's definitely in a building. Probably.
We're experts at filling out insurance paperwork. You'll need this. Trust us.
Fill in the details and we'll calculate exactly how much this disaster will cost you.
(Did* you own fragile items?)
Spin the wheel to discover what exciting disaster awaits your belongings!
Real reviews from real people who definitely exist.
John S.
★★★☆☆
"It took em 4 weeks to eventually show up with all my belongings, they lost most of it. Luckily, most of my family died in the meantime as we had nothing to cook with. So I guess I didn't need as much stuff to arrive afterwards."
Mary K.
★★☆☆☆
"I specifically asked them not to drop my grandfather's antique clock. So they just didn't move it at all. I suppose I technically got my money's worth, I guess?"
Robert B.
★★★★★
"The truck took a 'shortcut' straight through my house. I had been meaning to remove that wall for years. Now it's done for me. 10/10 would recommend."
Linda P.
★★★☆☆
"The movers were very friendly! One of them napped in my bed for 45 minutes. I didn't have the heart to wake him. Five stars for his big spoon skills."
Per multiple cease-and-desist letters and one very angry judge, we must display the following footage related to pending lawsuits. Our lawyers said scrolling past this section still counts as viewing. Sorry.
⚖️ 4 active cases · Exhibits A through D · Do not share (we already did)
Plaintiff claims we secured his box on the way into the truck. We claim the box "wanted freedom." It yearned for it, begged for it. It was a mercy.
client alleges we made his car move on its own. We claim it was a ghost, or likely an act of God himself.
It was claimed we dropped an object. BUT, you can CLEARLY SEE it was actually the CLIENTS house that knocked it on the way down. Don't sue us, sue your house.
Yeah okay, we admit to this one. But if you heard the client playing it, trust us, you would've too."
Viewing constitutes acknowledgment that this looked bad even without context.
(to…contact you)
Questions? Complaints? A burning need to hear a dial tone? Drop your details below. We promise to use them responsibly.*
*Responsibility not defined. Or located.
You have now transferred over Case #22442 . Our records indicate you are the primary defendant. Congratulations?
📍 How to reach us (mandatory appearance):
Meet us at the County Civil Courthouse,
Room 214 — Hall of Disappointed Plaintiffs
415 Justice Way, Civic Center District
(Past security, left at the broken water fountain, elevator that smells like regret)
Please bring photo ID, a pen, and any remaining hope. Dress code: business casual panic.